Days of the Week

Seven weeks. Forty nine days. Today is yet another milestone, one of many anniversaries I have begun to count. The days of the week have become markers in my life, days to remember Josh. My mind touches on the events that have altered my life and I fight the internal battle to make myself focus only on the days of his life rather than his death. Otherwise I feel myself slipping down a greasy slope, sliding faster and faster towards a bottom I do not want to encounter.

Today is the anniversary of his disappearance.
Tomorrow is the anniversary of filing the missing persons report and having to speak aloud our fears to a total stranger.
Thursday marks the day those fears were realized and my son was no longer alive.
Friday I visited the funeral home and said my goodbyes.
Saturday is the day I wrote his obituary.
Sunday, I gathered together pictures and mementos to display at his funeral and wrote the information for the handouts at the service.
Monday marks the day of his memorial service.
Which brings me back to Tuesday which is also the day he came home for the last time.

The weeks are made up of days, completing a circle revolving around Josh. I suspect there will come a time when I no longer count them or some of the days will become less significant than others.

I'm not sure if I'm more fearful of continuing to count or beginning to forget.