Culling them out

I have never been good at writing cards and letters or thank you notes. Not because I don't care, but because I find writing to be very frustrating and inadequate at expressing my feelings versus my voice. I pick up the phone more often than not to say my thank yous because I am much better at verbalizing my thoughts than writing them.

Having said that, it doesn't excuse the fact that I have yet to write one single thank you note to the people that showed their kindness and love when Josh died. I HAVE called most people and let them know how much I appreciated them, yet I know that is not a proper replacement for an actual card. Maybe it's because I find it an onerous chore in the first place, but for some reason I have not been able to make myself sit down and do it. I've started to do it more times than I can count, but one look at those little cards "From the family of Josh McBeth" and I shut down. I'm somewhat ashamed of my weakness, but I still don't think I deserve to be chastised for it by someone whom I considered a friend and who I thanked profusely in person at the time.

This is someone who has fallen off the radar since shortly after Josh's memorial service, who was at my place of business yesterday and immediately lit into me because they hadn't received a thank you note and I hadn't called them.

Which is why I quite bluntly told them "I'm sorry I didn't meet your needs when my son died."

~~Cue the music~~

And another one bites the dust....and another one down, and another one down, and another one bites the dust.

Ooops.